A West Coast grandmother who was widowed at a young age has become a volunteer with Archie’s Child Bereavement Service, using her personal experience to help other families.
Mairi Drummond has become the first volunteer to cover the area around her home in Poolewe, as well as joining the ACBS committee.
She has joined a network of ACBS support workers across the Highlands, North-east, Orkney and Tayside, who are available to provide specialist support to children and young people who have suffered the loss of a loved one.
The team of 11 staff is supported by 70 other highly trained volunteers, supporting up to around 200 children every year.
Mairi remembers only too vividly the profound grief she and her young daughter experienced, more than 20 years on from the loss of her father.
“My daughter’s dad completed suicide just three months off her third birthday, after a history of mental illness,” she said.
“It was life-changing for us and I felt I carried my own grief as well as hers as she was so young.
“While people were kind, we were passed around like a hot potato, by teachers and medical professionals, and most people couldn’t be the support we really needed. Just being able to speak about our loss and acknowledging what we were going through made such a difference.
“My aim with the children we support through Archie’s Child Bereavement Service is to be the person for them that we needed. I want to be able to help children work through emotions after suffering loss and sad times and to use my own experience to help them.
“Opening up the lines of communication and giving the child or young person a safe space to talk about how they feel is so important.”
Mairi, who has two grown-up children and two grandchildren, was facing redundancy from her role as a dental practice manager and wanted to take the opportunity to take a break after a period of ill health last year.
When she saw the volunteer role advertised with Archie’s Child Bereavement Service, now part of The Archie Foundation, she knew it was right for her.
Her career as a nanny took a new direction after she was widowed and wanted to stay close to her then-toddler daughter.
“I wanted to stay with my daughter because I was her only parent, so I became a childminder then started volunteering with Maternal and Childhealth Advocacy International before taking a permanent role as an administration officer, later advancing to senior program officer helping to support women and children in Liberia, The Gambia and Cameroon,” said Mairi.
“We analysed obstetric data from the charities projects to provide evidence of the charities’ effectiveness in saving lives to secure further funding from the World Health Organisation and I spent a lot of time reading case studies about women’s experience in pregnancy, birth, pre and post-natal care and neonatal.
"It was often harrowing and a reality check that we are lucky to have the health care we do.
“Through Archie’s Child Bereavement Service, we have many resources and methods that we can use, and helping the child has a ripple effect so it helps the mum, helps the family and helps to spread a positive ripple for their future.”
Mairi and other volunteers have undergone virtual training, with additional reading, and have access to books and other resources, along with regular volunteer support meetings to be able to provide personalised support for each child.
Following an initial conversation by phone, the ACB team decides how best to support the child or young person. This can range from providing specialist books to help a child understand what the death of a loved one means and to understand their emotions to craft sessions, group events and activity days.
The experienced team also offers advice on effective communication and what to say to parents to mirror what is being shared in school, as well as group and one-to-one sessions.
Bereavement service manager Malcolm Stewart said: “We are delighted to welcome Mairi to the team and to have provision of care on the West Coast. We have a strong team of dedicated workers and volunteers and are now able to reach and support even more children who have experienced loss and need some help to work through often complex feelings.”
Visit www.archie.org/getsupport/ for more information about the practical, financial and emotional support available from The Archie Foundation, or https://archie.org/bereavement/ for details of Archie’s Child Bereavement Service.