An Aberdeen family who lost their son when he was just a week old have raised vital funds to help provide support for other bereaved parents, giving them the gift of time to spend with stillborn or newborn babies who die soon after birth.
Kirsty Cowie and her partner were devastated when their son Louie, who had been born prematurely at 30 weeks, died in the neonatal unit at Aberdeen Maternity Hospital in June 2023.
“On the day that he passed away, we thought that would be the last time we would ever see him, and it was an awful thought,” said Kirsty. “The nursing staff then asked if we would like to take him home with us for a few days so we could spend some time with him. We never knew such a thing was possible and it meant such a lot to us and helped us work through that time.”
The family was provided with a Cuddle Cot, a portable cooling system for a moses basket or cot, that gives grieving families the chance spend time with their little ones, to create memories, allow family members to visit and to say goodbye and make their arrangements in a peaceful and dignified way.
Last year, Kirsty gave birth to a daughter, Phoebe, who is now nine months old. She was also born slightly prematurely and had to spend time in Aberdeen Maternity Hospital’s neonatal unit, where parents are supported by The Archie Foundation.
When the couple heard that one of the unit’s two Cuddle Cots had broken down, they decided they’d like to raise funds to replace it.
“Every year, my dad David and some of his teammates organise a charity golf tournament, so this year he and his friends Alistair Fagan and Stuart Stephen, organised a fundraiser for the neonatal unit,” said Kirsty.
The event saw 24 teams pay a fee to compete, with the winning teams all donate their winnings back to the fundraiser. Funds were also raised through a raffle, a BBQ, and a Northern Soul evening event to bring in a total of £2,650 – more than enough to buy a Cuddle Cot, with the additional money also being donated to the unit.
From left, Kirsty Cowie with Phoebe, Alistair Fagan, Stuart Stephen, David Cowie
“Being able to buy that cot meant so much to us,” said Kirsty. “Horrible as it is to think someone will need it because they have a lost a baby, it does happen. I would hate to think that if someone was in the same position that we were in, they would not have the chance to spend that extra time with their baby.
“For us, being able to have that time at home with Louie was amazing and it helped us deal with a heartbreaking time. It doesn’t make things easier, it just makes it that little bit better. We had 10 days to come to terms with things, to do normal things at home and allow family to come meet him in a more relaxed environment.”
The Archie Foundation neonatal unit provides support to parents and babies through a wide range of services, including bereavement services.
Kirsty and Phoebe’s involvement with the unit continues through attendance at monthly coffee mornings where they can meet up with friends who have gone through the same experiences and can chat to healthcare professionals who also attend and are always available to provide advice if needed.
“It’s such a nice environment,” said Kirsty. “The team at the neonatal unit is just amazing. You cannot fault how thoughtful and kind they are.”
Nationwide, more than 100,000 babies are admitted to neonatal units in the UK each year, representing approximately one in seven babies.
Throughout September, Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) Awareness Month, an initiative led by Bliss, a leading UK charity for babies born premature or sick, raises understanding of the challenges faced in neonatal care and honours families, their babies and the healthcare professions who support them.
Reti Turner, regional fundraising officer at The Archie Foundation, said: “We are very grateful to Kirsty and her family for their fundraising efforts for the neonatal unit. Sadly they are only too aware of the difference a Cuddle Cot can make to a bereaved family, allowing them to spend more time with their baby.
“Archie exists to support babies, children and families at the most difficult time of their lives and we raise money to provide extras beyond the care provided by the NHS, to try to bring a little comfort and make their lives a little easier.
“Families tell us how much it means to them to be able to take their baby home in a cuddle cot. One family spoke to us about being able to introduce their baby to the rest of the family in their home environment. They loved having the chance to introduce the baby to the baby’s siblings and to bath and dress their baby each day.
“Parents also say that they find having baby home with them enables the family to be together and to start the grieving process, slowly, in their own environment and its helps other children feel involved.”
Visit www.archie.org/getsupport/ for more information about the practical, financial and emotional support available from The Archie Foundation, including Archie’s Child Bereavement Service.